Saturday, July 04, 2015

July 4th, 2015

I've been falling down a lot lately. A few nights ago, I wandered outside in the dark, tripped over an upside down lawn chair and saw my life flash before my eyes. AGAIN, This time I was just tipsy, the lawn chair was darker than night and after I bashed my shins and, avoided impailling myself on the leg of a lawn chair like a Game of Thrones character - I finally hit the ground and realized - Ozzy Osbourne is having an easier time dying than me.

I imagined my obituary and the strange looks at my viking funeral.
"Chantel went exactly the way she liked to live; tipsy - in the dark - in the backyard - surrounded by the things she loved which fell out of her purse on her way down. Except for the Lemon Shandy, she would never spill her drink." I really thought it would be more glamorous than that.

I got up, finished my Shandy, scooped up my belongings, my dog and, went to bed. I survived yet again and the only thing to show for it; is my inner dialogue and a few bruises. And why the fuck did I think of Ozzy Osbourne just before my death?
So many questions.

Other recent adventures in old and overconfident:
I've fallen at work
I smashed my hand on a glass in front of my new boss.
Then, I had a great day so; I climbed rocks, I fell down, I had an asthma attack. All I had to show for it was an unspilled Shandy and a few more bruises.
I love swimming in the river - stacking rocks because its illegal - and Shandy's.

Life is simple.
I'm celebrating Independence Day,
I'm celebrating even though the fire-crackers scare the bezeesus out of me.

I'm reminded of a time when I was 15 and I was at my new cool summer job sitting in an empty office answering telephones and typing 3-part carbon forms day after day after hour after minute. I really took a liking to office work after that job, said no-one ever. I wrote a story about how I was kidnapped by the KGB and flown to Russia so they could steal my only Led Zepplin album. Yes, a telephone, a typewriter, a plane, a Led Zepplin album and 8 hours to kill at work. I won the KGON contest and I felt pretty good about myself. That's a time I not only survived; I fucking beat the Russians too.

I was reprimanded sternly and then I wondered what ever happened to my album and, then I wondered about my blog, my career and, thought, THIS IS THE LIFE AND TIMES....maybe I should scrap it and start over, like I always thought of doing. But then I realized THIS hot mess is just another extension of who I am to become. And slowly but surely - I'm going to try again - I'm probably going to fail again - but maybe I won't - maybe I'll survive that too. But I've got to come out of hiding a little and I've got to get on the grid - I guess I'll pay my domain renewal.

I've wanted to write stuff. But all I have to show for it; is a few really long showers where I giggle at all the awesome jokes I've written in my head.  Over time, that turned to possibly, maybe, wanting to perform again - on my own terms - jotting ideas on paper turned to buying podcasting equipment, turned to outlining long form story-telling productions turned to possible, someday, very soon, I will not only not only beat that outside force trying to steal my only access to my own personal Stairway to Heaven. I'll be honest, we can thank the Lexapro, a Psychologist for the time I lived and a Psychologist for the time I died and a doctor who swears a lot when he looks at my lungs and heart. I thank myself a lot too - I'm been working really hard on getting well.

Then I thought about all the other falling down I've done and how I survived quite well. And then I realized I beat another Russian - so to speak. I not only won, I not only survived, I'm a happy Mother Fucker. I'm still missing my albums but that too was just another piece of plastic, I don't really miss it - really.

And then I thought wow, Its July 4th.
I quit smoking yesterday.

I've also been thinking of running for President
Campaign Slogan
"I've still got skills"

Russians 0
Chantel 2

No pills,
no cigarettes and,
no Shandy's were harmed during this post.

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

So this is a new post with pictures

I have made significant changes in my life since my last post here. Unfortunately, any disruption to my life causes a great deal of insecurity and imagined instability. I'm working - for money - in a way that's not illegal. GO ME. I've never really worked illegally but, after caring for my Dad for two years, I sort of feel out of place in a "real" work environment. I guess we call this - the jumping off point of "starting over". Its serious -- I'm employed.

Here are some photos to get you going.
Its true, I do love wedding dresses. I have no desire to find myself in one. 

This is 15 years of friendship - and the photo on my hat proves that it. 

My little Peanut Butter Cup for Halloween. 

I get to go to work here everyday. The possibilities are as endless as these vines.

My Sister - 30 years later. 

The Oregon City Library

I had a dream I was abducted by aliens

I had a dream I was abducted by aliens. I apologized for not wearing cuter shoes. 

Monday, September 15, 2014

What a marathon, Oktoberfest and me in 90 degree heat

At Helen's Vintage Costume's in Portland, making the final selection

           Don't dare me to drive around town in a costume

Also Runner's think I'm stupid at 7am- but, I sing anyway

Mt. Angel is the cutest town on the planet

Trying to take a squinty selfie of the finish line.
I might be too old to to try and perfect the selfie thing.

After a few hours with no mic - I was grateful for the gang
of Cheer Leaders from Sheridan High.

Columbia River

A lucky sunset for my birthday